When do you become successful?
Is there a certain mark, a single accomplishment that, once reached, signifies that you are a success?
To most single people, finding a loving relationship would be an appropriate goal. But with divorce rates skyrocketing, simply entering into a relationship cannot be sufficient to call yourself a success. As any married couple will tell you, the hard work begins after the wedding day, and every day from then on.
If success in your relationships isn’t found in a single act, in one defining moment, where does that success lie?
This question applies to all areas of our lives. To our friendships, our financial health, and certainly our physical health. Have you ever looked at pictures of someone losing weight? Or even looked in the mirror every day as you strive to fulfill this years’ resolution of going to the gym 5 times a week? Just like a flip book, the image changes almost imperceptibly each day.
When does that overweight person on the cover of the flip book become healthy? Is it on page 6? Page 49? Page 152? If we compare the pictures one page to the next, they look almost identical. Even comparing one week to the next provides almost no visible change. But as we flip through those pages quickly, the change is definitely noticeable.
This is very much similar to how we view success in our own lives. We step on the scale each morning, and beat ourselves up for seemingly no progress after a grueling workout the day before. We frown at our bank account, barely increasing since the last time we got paid. Or we become frustrated in our careers because we’re doing similar things as last month, as last quarter.
Taking a short term view of our accomplishments is frustrating and unrewarding, but it’s what so many of us do. As such, we never feel like we are becoming successful in our pursuits. These feelings lead us to thinking we’ll never become successful.
What is the solution?
We need to expand our frame of comparison. We can’t look at our progress today, compared to where we were yesterday. We need a wider lens to view our success. With my coaching clients, we take a deeper look at progress every quarter. This 90-day lens allows us to see real progress, that we wouldn’t be exposed to when only looking daily or weekly. Seeing progress is important, for two reasons. First, it allows you to make adjustments, to see what is working, and what isn’t. And secondly, seeing progress feels good. We all like to know we’re improving, that we’re going somewhere, and taking a wider lens to view our efforts provides that reassurance.
When do you become successful?
Surely there is no date, no grandiose accomplishment that says “I made it.” You become successful by making sure each day you are working towards your grander goals. Each small, almost imperceptible step is a success. And remember, to see those successes add up, don’t look at yesterday’s results, but expand your lens. Achieving anything worthwhile is a slow process, but by taking a small step each day, you can achieve your dreams.